| HiT MoteL Press | ABOUT THIS BOOK | CONTENTS | [SAMPLE ]

40 A Recidivist at the Court of Love Walker felt a delighted affinity for the innocent children at the house. He was a single guy, no recent experience with kids, since being the older brother in his family, but he was good with kids. I'm just a big kid myself he often told himself. He was there on a night that kid's committees met. Dhyana had been sent home from pre-school for hitting one of the other kids. She had to undergo a group process. It was hilarious, to see this cute little girl going through all kinds of defenses. She took the long way around the room dawdling along, coming toward the group. She sits on the floor, shows off her legs straight out in front of her. She smiles up at the adults and looks cute. Assumes a casual pose. Hummms softly to herself. "What happened at school today?" "Nothin'." "Why were you sent home. Your teacher said you hit someone." "I didn't." Dhyana heaves up and down. Looks around suspiciously to see who's on her side. Feels embarrassed. Feels conspicuous. She squirms like a 4 year old. She is. More things are said to her. She does not respond. Acts like she didn't hear. Tries to look invisible. She denies that she hit anyone at all. "You mean that your teacher lied?" "Yess." "Your teacher is not like the other kids. She doesn't need to lie." She tilts back. Jiggles her legs. Dhyana chews on her bottom lip. Gets uncomfortable, squirms some more. Exhales hard through her power under bite look, over her upper lip to see if she can make the hair on her bangs rise up. Dhyana dawdles, looks all around, appears to think seriously, then sticks her tongue out, waves it all around in the air before pulling it back into her mouth. People talk to her about doing that, being distracting and not paying attention to what is going on. She heaves upward, holds herself erect. Hunches over, looks bummed out, looks both ways, wiggles eyebrows.   Walker was fascinated watching all this delightful behavior in it's pure state. He thought about how his own defense mechanisms are so well formed, their formation going way back into time to early childhood. He went out and got a glass of white wine at La Boheme. It felt good to be walking around in the Mission fog thinking about stuff.